Games Are for Girls

by Lauren Jacobs

There are many examples of atrocities occurring against women in geek culture. But I’ve been a nerd and gamer all my life, and have never encountered, nor seen first hand, anything close to this kind of sexist abuse in a gamer community. My experiences and observations have been with much more common kinds of misogyny.

Roll damage against invading dragons

(image by Justin Ennis)

Granted, my experiences would doubtlessly be different if I spent more time on the internet, or had ever played an MMO. It’s not surprising that sexist behavior exists in what are mostly male-dominated communities. What I find incredible is that roleplaying games (specifically tabletop and live action) aren’t female-dominated to begin with.

After all, roleplaying is just a more sophisticated way of playing make-believe. And stereotypically, aren’t girls supposed to be playing more make-believe than boys are? It seems only natural that girls would transition into playing RPGs with their friends.

Personally, I played a lot of games as a child that could be considered tabletop roleplaying.  My friends and I sat around, making up characters and collaboratively working through improvisational stories with them (read: all fluff, no crunch).

Disclaimer: I know many female gamers
who prefer combat-heavy games.
(image by Cathé Post from GeekMom)

Many years ago, I was in an all-girl tabletop RPG. Upon finding out about it, one of my male gamer friends asked me, “What’s that even like?” to which I replied “character-driven plots, more riddle-based and political solutions, and less combat.”

So why aren’t there more female roleplayers?

I was always aware that there were far fewer female roleplayers than male; I remember spending hours going through the miniature sections of gaming stores looking for a single female miniature, often in vain.

But for years, all of my games were at least 1/3 female players, and many had an even higher ratio.  So it was a long time before I encountered boy gamers who thought that girl gamers were some kind of mythical beast (something you could find in the fiend folio, right next to the gelatinous cube).

Well, I guess that's what one looks like.
(image and mini by Peter Lee)

Once I branched out to some new gaming groups, I quickly encountered gamers that seemed incapable of treating female gamers like normal humans. I encountered several groups where the few women playing were put on a strange pedestal: often complimented, but also excluded from the real game play.

Many of the ladies in these games were coddled, and treated like the “girlfriend gamers”. Also, they were nominated for extra XP every game for “roleplaying,” which in this case was a code word for “tits.” I considered these games simply unplayable.

"There's a little, ugly girl inside of me
going, 'Yay! I'm a sex symbol!'"
(TNG copyrighted by CBS)

A good friend once told me that she hated female characters, because in fantasy and science fiction stories, their main character trait was being female, and their character development centered around being a romantic interest. There were exceptions, but really the exceptions proved the rule. She, incidentally, played more than a few male characters. It also took her some time to realize that her issues were with how female characters are portrayed, not with actual women.

The point is: the misogyny isn’t in the written content of the games (at least not in most games). It’s what surrounds our games. There is misogyny in the history of science fiction and fantasy literature and art, but that’s true of the history of most literature and art.  Mostly, the bias is in us. Nerds are sometimes misogynistic because people are sometimes misogynistic.

To recognize misogyny, start questioning a few bad habits:

1. If a girl asks a guy for help stating out her character, then that is one thing, but if she doesn’t, a guy trying to write it for her can be patronizing, and can also pressure her into a role in the adventuring group she may not have chosen.
2. There are many good ways to hit on a girl, but a storyteller using his or her role to give that girl’s character “perks” (more treasure, experience, or stat boosts), is not among them. It probably will make that game less fun to play for everyone.
3. If a storyteller is uncomfortable putting his or her male players into romantic or sexual in-game scenarios, then they shouldn’t put their female players in them either.
4. It’s important to make sure that female characters are as well rounded and dimensional as male characters. Storytellers should try assigning genders to NPCs randomly, and only after they’ve completely written them up.

There’s no checklist, just like there’s no single viewpoint on this. I want to hear your ideas and gaming stories - pleave leave a comment below.