Friday, February 8, 2013

Scooter's Guide to Wooing Geeks

I was talking to the wonderful musician Jonah Knight on the DC Geeks Share & Share-alike group on Facebook about good geek love songs for Valentines Day. When I realized that this is something I should probably put a bit more effort into. A little known secret, within the cold dark winter estate high atop Mount Scoot, lies a hopeless romantic that likes love songs, even cheesy ones. 

Don't bother looking it up, those are definitely red and blue.
(image via rzrxtion)

Don't tell anyone or I'll be super embarrassed; it's our secret. I don't talk about my love of geek music enough either, so this is the perfect opportunity to tie my love of music into an overly commercialized holiday!  Joking aside, here's my list of quality, fun, and romantic geeky music to surprise your sweetheart (or sweethearts, I don't judge). 

If I missed one of your favorites or you can't fathom why I chose the songs I did, or you're curious why your loved/hated song is in a specific position, please leave a comment below, or hit us up on Facebook or Twitter and let us know what you really think. Enjoy and have a good 14th of February, however you choose to spend it.


10. Lorraine Cink - Ode to a Geek



I feel the song is sort of condescending to geeks, especially towards the beginning. But there are a lot of geek references that are spot on. It's sort of catchy, even though the song itself is relatively simple (but not in a bad way). Some parts are kinda awkward, but she gains serious points by looking like she means it when she sings it.
Favorite Line: "Your arms are strong like Han." 

9. Marshall Gray - Critical Hit On My Heart


I wish I could have found more information on Marshall Gray. I enjoy this song. The recording quality is not amazing, but the references are exactly what I'm looking for. I noticed something though, not the fault of the artist (since I think someone else uploaded this) every die in the video is showing a one! For the non-tabletop gamers, that's bad. Do Not Want. Maybe there's a pun to be had about a critical fail on my heart? This song is sappy and maybe a bit too 90's soft rock for me. But wow, definitely earns its place on this list based on lyrical content.
Favorite Line: "You only rolled 17, but you have got the improved critical feat, and I just know you're gonna confirm it. So just roll maximum damage and I will belong to you."


8. Kirby Krackle - Up, Up, Down, Down



This song is thick on the geek references. But it goes really dark at the end. The first half is very romantic, but... yeah, that ending. You best watch it and see what I'm talking about. After this, the zombie song at #5 won't seem that bad. This is sweet and catchy, would have placed higher if it wasn't a love song about murder and ritual sacrifice.
Favorite Line: "I should take a risk, then like Wilson Fisk, be the Kingpin of this day."

7. Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog - My Freeze Ray



If you've seen Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog, then you're probably in love with this song. This is one of the most touching scenes from the series. You have to love a love/lament song from a mad scientist to his paramour. The only reason this didn't rank higher in this list is it's more about lost love, pining, (and stalking?) than a true romantic song. Still, could work a pinch, especially if your lover really was into the series.
 Favorite Line: "I'll bend the world to our whim and we'll make time stand still."

6. Jonathan Coulton - Code Monkey



I love this song on alot of levels. Like all of Jonathan Coulton's music, the lyric quality is fantastic and the music is catchy. If your partner loves coding this may do the trick on premise alone. The main problem I see here is that it's still a song about panning for the attentions of someone else, rather than celebrating the awesome that is the relationship. So, maybe not quite in the right frame of mind.
Favorite Line: "Maybe manager want to write god damn login page himself." 

5. Your Favorite Martian - Zombie Love Song


I appreciate the sort of creepy yet lovely parts of this song. It also feels like a throwback to Thriller. That's gotta be intentional. Yeah, I know I said earlier that several songs got low rankings because they were essentially about a forlorn individual desperately seeking the affections of another. This one is different somehow. Plus, it gets bonus points for making something creepy yet sweet at the same time.
Favorite Line: "When I chase you through the graveyard, it feels like foreplay." 

4. Nerd Alert - SCV Love Song


Alright I need to talk about the awesomeness of the video itself here for a moment. I love the cheesy boy band beach scene while talking about Starcraft. It's... wow. Just wow. Especially the out of place male model (referenced in the video comments as Singer, Nerd, and Hot Dude). This reminds me of high school romance movies, you know, if they had taken place during a Starcraft II tournament.
Favorite Line: "We're there for each other (whoa oh ohhhhhh) We repair one another."

3. Sam Hart - Mario Kart Love Song



Love the mustache, even though it's fake (editor's note: It's a mustache-heavy week). Ok, with that aside. This song is amazingly sweet. If I knew how to play the acoustic guitar, I feel like I could play this outside of a woman's window during the scene in a movie where I have to win back her affections after being a total douche bag for the first half of the movie.
Favorite Line: "Blue shell is coming, so I'll go ahead. If you hang behind it'll hit me instead."

2. Lemon Demon - Geeks in Love



I was speaking of sweet before. This one is so sweet it puts me in a good mood no matter what. It's also hard for me to stay still while listening. Also, it feels like one of the more appropriate portrayals of geeky activities that I've heard. Regardless, it's almost too sweet. One of the video commenters suggest that this should be a duet, and I can't agree more.
Favorite Line: "We may not be cutting edge, but we won't take your mainstream pledge."


1. Jonathan Coulton - I'm Your Moon


There are few things I could see as more charming than a love song between Pluto and Charon. I missed that context entirely the first time I heard it (I wasn't watching the video at the time). Knowing that gives the song an immense sense of depth. Sections of geek culture are still vocally bitter about Pluto's loss of planetary status, but I feel a little better knowing that Charon is there to be with Pluto through this troubling time.
Favorite Line: "I'm your moon, You're my moon, We go round and round"

Runner Up, The Klein Four Group - Finite Simple Group (of Order Two)



This would have made the main list if I could have found a higher quality version. The lyrics are fun and so painfully math-based. I wish Glee was more like this (if they could stop their wholesale theft of original content). To even understand half of this song requires a very specific knowledge set that's very deep in math. While that makes it awesome, it can also be its downfall if it alienates non-math geeks.
Favorite Line: "But lately our relation's not so well-defined, and I just can't function without you."
Check out the other Off the Beaten Path articles - they're basically lists of interesting stuff that you should make a point to check out.

2 comments:

  1. this is one I forgot earlier:
    http://old.thesixtyone.com/s/xKx6zJbGPiX/

    (live video)
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZTWXrhf2O1Y

    and btw: you want to listen to everything by this woman, and it's not just my Uke Love bias.

    ReplyDelete
  2. also this one: Compromise -> http://www.thesixtyone.com/s/Glg3clv5Alm/

    ReplyDelete