NOVA Has a Serial Butt Stabber on the Loose

A reasonably factual re-enactment by ViralBus

You didn't hear me wrong.   There's a rash of gluteous maximus penetrations going on around Northern Virginia lately.  If the DC area wasn't weird enough before.
So let me get this straight.  Someone thought it would be fun to walk into a mall with a box cutter and just lightly stab a random stranger?  I... I'm confused by even the very nature of this crime.  Bank robbing, ok I get, it's sexy seeming, Bonnie & Clyde and all.  But(no joke), why would you want a little poke and walk away.

Ok, I'm stopping there before I dig myself into a hole I won't be able to climb out of.

So be careful.  All jokes aside, that's pretty messed up.  I'll give this all of 5 minutes before 4chan makes it into a meme.

Here's the basics:

In the most recent attack, an 18-year-old woman was shopping at Forever 21 inside the Fair Oaks Mall at 5:30 p.m. Monday when she was distracted by clothing falling over. She told police that she suddenly felt a sharp pain in her butt and realized she'd been cut through her denim shorts with a box cutter or razor.

The atttacks began in February. In each attack, the victims have been women in their late teens or early 20s at retail stores. In each case, the stabbing follows some sort of distraction.

via NBC Washington